shit

Each period of my life are identified by different women, these women they hold little historical significance, but when I look back, I discover my past emotions towards them, and these emotion offer me insights into what type of person I am--or think I am.

I was trying to figure out my first encounter with what I identify as the Asian American that I grew to loathe so intimately.  Fortunately, this shit comes pretty fucking easy to me because whatever cortex of my mind recalls people's faces like a Japanese super-computer.
Diana, I remember that girl coming in the middle of grade nine to my junior high school at the time.  It was my first real experience with a Vietnam girl, and when I say experience I mean 'to look at'.
She was four foot nothing, wore these ridiculous high heels to school which drove this mid-puberty son-of-a-bitch crazy.  Her make up was a carbon copy of some prostitute I saw on television, and for a thirteen year old, she had some serious ass and tits.  I stared at her fine ass like a silly dog.  This woman possessed every single attribute that I learned to despise now.  I saw only sex in that girl, and it made me a complete lunatic.
I felt she might have represented the stage of my life where I was willing to prostitute myself to whatever social crowd that was willing to accept me, and in exchange of their acceptance I would alter myself to act, talk, and dress like them.  Not knowing where I belong, I couldn't figure out my propensities.  I had to change what I liked just to fit in, and I didn't actually end up fitting in anyway.
So when I looked at Diana--a girl whom belonged to a demographic I haven't seen before, and I know she's far cooler than everyone else at school, and plus she's sexy as fuck--that became my initial introduction to what I thought at the time to be something different.
Despite Diana being of Vietnamese descent, she represented to me everything ( I find) wrong with the Canadian Born Chinese crowds.  Their physical shortcomings, their distorted view of beauty, their empty headed way of life.....motherfucker I fucking forgot what I was talking about!

I had a point I wanted to make, but I got lost in the middle and this became a fucking rant, which wasn't what I wanted to write.  Also, I didn't want to swear...but fuck that I guess...