Friday, January 22, 2010

Nostalgia


I received some photos of me during the January of 2009, and in the photos I saw a beautiful man wearing his arrogant expression, clearly standing out from the crowd with that beautiful face.
Then I went to the mirror, and wanted to puke at the reflection. The chiseled cheek bones, immaculate eyebrows, masculine jawline, plumb lips, and that porcelain skin. I could hardly believe that face belonged to the same body.
My injuries has rendered me to an inactive lifestyle, and taken away my superior physical abilities which made me dominant. So I just sat there admiring the photos, twenty minutes, maybe an hour. Definitely longer than the photo of that bleeding dead girl that I found to be unusually sexy.

Today I must have spent 3 hours in my room stretching, doing push ups, sit ups, struggling pathetically to finish every last repetition. I used to be able to pump off 75 perfect push ups in one breath..now I can just make thirty at a time. I'm afraid of going out for a jog, my knees may fail me again and it could be another month in the chair. My Back still hurts. I bought a pack of Belmonts last week and smoked about six so far, I don't know how my cardiovascular has held up, or if its held up at all. I went from successfully completing the second toughest course the Canadian Military can dish out, to someone who is afraid to be seen in public because of his puffy face.

This Saturday is Julie and Jocelyn's birthday, and I don't have anything to match a fatbody. So I will be spending 4 hours today in the push up position. I've done it before, and it thins my face out to the point where it would raise no suspicion. And obviously strictly protein only meals. Good thing my body can deflate like a balloon, unhealthy..but convenient.
The journey of regaining my perfect body, and most importantly my beautiful face begins today. I know I will have reached my goal when people start to mistake me for a Korean popstar again.

I might even consider fucking Beijing girl to expedite this whole process....dunno...teasing her is way too much fun.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Elitism

WHEN THE HELL DID THE PASSING MARK IN CHINA BECOME 50%??

Okay, so apparently the passing grade for tests and projects in Chinese schools is 50%...same standard as it is set here in Canada, and perhaps the rest of the world?
This is news to me. I've always been under the impression that a mark below 95/100 was an epic fail. Anything below 98% was a shameful act of incompetence, and 95% below meant I had to redo my test/project/homework. I even remember once I was instructed to remain standing in front of the class along with everyone else who got below 95% on a test, and commence crying with our heads hung low. I can't cry on command..I'm not Gong Li!
I went to a privileged school, but what the hell?!
So this means, I was repeatedly beaten for a mark that most of my friends would have been praised for? SON OF A BITCH! Those were some goddamn hard beatings! The number of times I was made to redo my workload in grade two...the amount of playtime I missed out on. I should be proud, well I am proud..but can't help feel a little outraged!
I was happy when I got both 100% on Literacy and Math in the first grade, but I thought my only accomplishment was doing what I was told. So I was surprised when I got a Super-Nintendo and Sega Genesis out of it, now it makes more sense.


I wonder if I'd be alive today if I gotten a 50% on anything back then.....

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Retail Therapy

Today I was in the Pottery Barn looking at cutlery and some eco-friendly plush pillows for Evelyn, she's been going on about how the the things in her house needs replacing to make it more "green". I didn't understand the concept because all she was doing is putting more stuff in her home and contributing to the landfill.
I was browsing in the fine china section when I noticed the cashier girl eying me hard from behind the counter, I tried to play it cool, but when I raised my head to check back at her, I noticed that she hasn't taken her glance off of me. She looked Middle-Eastern, maybe Lebanese, maybe Iranian, with long black hair, and very little makeup. She was wearing a lime Prada cashmere cardigan over a white H&M spread collar shirt, charcoal grey pencil skirt with dark stockings and probably four inch pumps all from bebe. I looked down and looked back again pretending not to notice, but her eyes were locked on me. I'm wearing a custom navy blue YSL sports jacket with a burgundy tie also from YSL, plain collared shirt, cream khakis and brown alligator shoes all from Canali, I'm also wearing my non-prescription Oliver People's glasses.
I grab at something random, a plate of some kind and approach her desk.
"Do you have these in a set?" I ask her.
"If it's not in the display then we might not, but I can always check." She says. "Just give me a second to check the back for you, maybe we do have similar ones in stock." She proceeds into a nearby door and into the stocking area. I follow her and we both disappear from the front of the store. I make sure the door is closed behind us and adjust my tie, fastening it to my collar. There was a mirror by a shelf, and I quickly give myself the once-over.
She turns around, unsurprised to see me. Smiling. I walk up to her and gently guide her backwards to the sorting table with my crotch to hers, she begin to unbutton my pants, I do the same to her shirt. I stick my hands down her pussy and start to rub her clit, we begin kissing.
Two minutes later I'm fucking her with her half laying on the stocking table and the other half elevated by my cock, I stare at her expressionless while she moans something in a foreign language. This turns me on momentarily. Her eyes are closed and I quickly capitalize on this opportunity and grab at the tape. I wrap it around her mouth, she thinks I'm doing something kinky and goes along with it. Still moaning with pleasure and eyes closed, I carefully grab the stapler gun and staple her fingernails to the table while holding her hands down. She opens her eyes with the look confusion, then the pain registers and she starts kicking at me. I quickly staple all of her fingers down I punch her until she is unconscious.
When she wakes up five minutes later she find herself tied to the table and her vagina sliced open with the box cutter and filled with broken glass, and then stapled shut again. I've sealed the door off, but so far nobody tried to come in. The Pottery Barn has always been one of those stores that's well staffed, which is one of the reasons I like the place, as I am always able to get someone's attention when needing assistance.
She is crying but unable to make any significant sounds because I stuck a dozen thumbtacks to her throat, and she is foaming blood around the neck. I stood in front of her naked, and she looked back at me in sheer terror while I jerked off. I wanted to savor the moment and enjoy myself, but I was in a shopping mall so I had make the best use of my time. I grab the box cutter and sliced her left nipple off, she twitches, but not to her own accord. I chew on her right breast, eventually biting the other nipple off and she spasms uncontrollably. So I lay the hot iron I've plugged in five minutes ago and lay it on her stomach for not co-operating. The smell of burning flesh hits me and I make a face, she tries to scream harder but all it causes is more foaming around the neck, she did however managed to make a ghastly incomprehensible noise.
If only she didn't eye fuck me, if only she'd checked to see that I was following her into the stock room she would have suffered the fate anyway. Because I would have found her, that's just the way things were. I would have eventually found her, and this would have happened anyway.
The iron burns away her skin and starts to cook her fat, causing the tissue blister, releasing a green fluid. I check my Gold Oyster Perpetual Rolex Navigator, and realize I've been at this for over twenty minutes, and it was time for me to go before the only other staff becomes suspicious. I grab the box cutter again and position it over her right eye. Then I slowly click it against her eyeball and start to press down, with each click of the box cutter the blade digs deeper into her socket, and closer to the brain. On the fourth click her eyeballs bursts, and this transparent fluid splashes all over my lips. On the sixth click I get an erection, which causes difficulty in my attempt to put my clothes back at the same time. The bitch shakes violently, then weakly, it takes twenty-two clicks, and two minutes for her to finally die.
I check myself in the mirror and adjust my tie, making sure there is no blood on my suit. Her blood did get on my tie but it's barely noticeable. I take both her nipples and place it in my breast pocket before heading out the backdoor. I found a random door which lead out the parking lot, I walk around the mall twice and notice a small crowd beginning to form at the entrance of Pottery Barn from outside the West entrance. Satisfied with the scene, I head down to the train station.I didn't actually get to finish my shopping.
The Patty Winter's show today was about home abortion kits.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

About time I did one of these




My search for a stumping ground continues after my pre-NYE experience at One Eleven, Yorkville. The place is exceptionally compact, and the food is as mediocre as the yuppie crowd. All three of my scallops was not cleaned properly, the duck confit it was served on top of was too salty, and the horse radish was not enough of a pleasing element to the thirty dollar dish. I was able to negotiate for our party of ten to be seated in the only bottle service area with no intention of ordering more than one bottle of wine. Again I saved the day. The maƮtre d' was very well-groomed and attentive, but mainly it was because the little hardbody waitress kept intentionally push her perfect pair of tits in my face when taking my order that had me tipping the whore more generously than usual. The most memorable things about the place were it's extravagant bottle service chairs, and the chic washroom. The clientele appeared to be somewhat timid to approach one another, and the cocktails that resembled the taste of Chinese herbal medicine was ridiculously overpriced. Their only selection of the four red wines were all from Italy, and there is absolutely no privacy for anyone whose trying to snort coke. I don't do cocaine, but this is something I look for in all nightclubs.
Despite the aforementioned, this joint had some sick music. A lot of 80's tunes that I was actually able to dance to. I jumped from my seat in sheer excitement, grabbing my friend and heading straight to the dance-floor when the DJ played Obsession by Animotion, the popular 80's hit made infamous by being featured as the theme song for Fashion Television, hosted by the beautiful Jeanne Beker. Unfortunately my friend didn't share my enthusiasm because her musical preferences was perhaps too contemporary to modern rubbish.
Ultimately, not a place I am likely to revisit. Too bad, the staff were all very professional, and courteous. Unlike the smug fucks at Panorama, I guess the altitude really fills their heads with too much cuntrogen.
One Eleven, Yorkville, a one nightstand...definitely remember to pull out.